


As I lay dying

by mjeanuniverse



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjeanuniverse/pseuds/mjeanuniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili is dying alone in the snow, forgotten and unmourned by his brother and his uncle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As I lay dying

**Author's Note:**

> Ok- this is not pretty nor kind. This contains some of the things Fili ponders as he lays dying. No, scratch that, this is something the folks that have seen the entire three movies of the Hobbit, may want to consider. Or not. It you don't like it, please, do not tell me as I do not care. Thank you.

The first thing the blonde is aware of when he hits the ground is that he is NOT dead. Not yet anyway. The second is the sound of his uncle’s anguished cry of his brother’s name, “Kili!” Why is Thorin calling out desperately for his dark haired brother as Fili can plainly see that Kili is right there, crouching in a hole or tunnel in the side of Ravenhill, whole and hearty, very much alive AND completely unharmed. For now. 

Instead of going to check on his brother, the dark and wild haired, heartthrob of a dwarf, spares his older brother only the briefest of glances before charging up the stairs. To do what exactly? Take on a horde of orcs that obviously occupy the top levels of Ravenhill, single-handedly? The horde that his blonde brother had obviously sought to put himself between and his younger brother to shield and protect the younger? Had Kili NOT heard Fili’s desperate warning of “Run!”? Certainly, he had. How could he have missed it? 

Nope , the reckless youth had felt it appropriate to throw away his brother’s sacrifices for HIS sake to race up the stairs to surely face overwhelming odds to accomplish what exactly? Seek vengeance for his older brother’s death? How, exactly? By getting killed himself even after his brother has effectively given Kili ample opportunity TWICE to retreat? This is not recklessly heroic behavior. It is stupid and self-serving. By the by, reckless is defined as acting before thinking, not before feeling. So it is plausible that Kili could have been thinking before he charges up those steps, but this is his brother, his only sibling. Kili has no feelings for his brother? Nope, apparently not; however he has a great deal of feelings for an elf that he has chatted up while being imprisioned by? Seriously? 

And let’s not forgot that elves are historically the long-time enemy of his kind? Yes, he did get to spend a couple hours talking with her, and she did save him from what again? A morgul blade? No, a morgul arrow? Hmmm, interesting since only the ring wraiths have morgul blades, not orcs and the ring wraiths are not around yet. Not to mention that being 'morgul' is not like a posion for an arrow to be dipped into. But for argument sake, this elf saves him and that means what? She has fallen in love with him and him her? Good god, this is JRR Tolkien’s work, not Twlight. Let’s get back to Fili lying in the snow, not dead yet, but run through with a huge blade and dropped like a sack of shit on the snow covered stones below.

Fili bites back the tears. The physical pain is agonizing, but the emotional pain is unbearable. His brother did not even check on him to say good-bye much less to actually see if he was, in fact, dead, before the dark haired heartthrob (Heartthrob is the term Aiden Turner uses to refer to himself as the character of Kili in the Hobbit. Don’t believe me? Watch the appendices of the Desolation of Smaug. He says it very plainly.) goes up the stairs do the very thing that Fili just gave his life to prevent? How heroic and nice. Not. 

Then, once again, his uncle, shouts out his brother’s name in a frantic, panic-striken tone when it is he, Fili, that is the one in mortal danger. Thorin calls out “Kili!” when the stone giant’s knee crashes into the side of the mountain. Well, Kili is behind Thorin. It is Fili who is almost crushed to death. Does Thorin go to the blonde to help him up? Nope. No one does. In fact, it is Fili who has to help fat old Bombur to his feet. Now, as Fili is run through and dropped like a stone, the only response from his loving, caring uncle is a panic-filled shout of concern for his brother, Kili? Wow, with assholes like these two for your closest kin who the hell needs orcs like Azog or Bolg as mortal enemies? 

Fili closes his eyes. He knows his brother will die, the brother that the blonde gave his life to protect, and the brunet threw that sacrifice away as if it were a used tissue. The blonde knows his uncle may die too, but he is now considering why he should care. It is painfully obvious that Thorin does not give one whit about his heir. Maybe that is why Thorin ordered the two sons of Dis to Ravenhill, knowing the older one would do anything to shield his younger brother from harm. Maybe it is a means for Thorin to rid himself of the blonde without having to actually disown him. 

Fili ponders this possibility as he one part bleeds to death and the other part freezes to death. Neither means of death is quick nor painless. When the sleepy darkness overtakes him, Fili is grateful. He will not have to spend his time protecting kin that so plainly don’t give a shit about him anymore. If they are to meet again in the Halls of Waiting, screw them, they will have to manage without Fili’s help. He has given them all he can here. He will not make the same mistake there.


End file.
